Bank, Wednesday, 3 p.m.

Bank teller, 30-ish woman (we may have gone to high school together...) to coworker:

There she is. I swear if she gives me a Jesus pamphlet today I am going to lose it.

Office Building Lobby, afternoon

Security guard, to me: He's a head taller than the other kids. Five years old.

Me: Wow, that's...

Guard: He's coordinated and he's got power. When he was four, he picked up a plastic bat. And there was a swimming pool form here to that corner, and a fence, and he just...WHAM. Picked up the ball and whacked it over the fence and into that pool. Four. Four years old.

Me: That reminds me of...

Security guard: He's not a speed guy. He's power. I think he's gonna play baseball or hockey. He needs speed. His mother's got him on a diet and he's lost that belly. But you know, for five, he's pretty good. Kid looks like Babe Ruth. Maybe he'll be like Babe Ruth.
Me: Hope so. That would be great.

Guard: That would be great.

(photo from the Flickr stream of JessyeAnne. Thanks.)

The Office, Tuesday, 12:15 p.m.

Boss, to me: It's a really cool product. My dad's doctor recommended it. "We did an upper GI and a lower GI, but the problem is this gap in the middle and we can't see it. You need the (name of medical product). Only problem was, insurance wasn't paying for it. My dad said, "Screw this. Just let me die. I want to die."

Me: (chuckle). That's got to be tough to hear. How's your dad now?

Boss: He's dead. Yeah, when they give up...He died very shortly after that happened.



(photo from the Flickr stream of Greenflames09. Thanks)

Niagara Falls, the Canadian side

Indian couple (man and woman, 20s)...leaning against the glass on the second floor of an observation tower, in unison:

Awwww, freak out!

Le Freak, c'est chic.

Freak out!

Le freak, c'est chic.

Awwwww, freak out!

(photo from the Flickr stream of Randy OHC. Thanks.)

Mom

There are only three kinds of trees, really: Maple, oak, and a few birch. And coniferous. Right, Dan?

Allentown Art Festival, 10 a.m.

"Cousin," in his early 60s (or looks it), beard, Wild Ones-style motorcycle hat. Leather back-brace belt. He's sitting near his chainsaw art, all animal figures. He's talking to everyone in ear shot generally, but in particular to two girls, early 20s, who are setting up a table for a wildlife rehabilitation group. The girls have two live owls with them, a great horned owl and a blind-in-one-eye screech owl.

I'm living by the Buffalo River now. Woke up one morning, and there was in my tree ... I was on my couch. And there was, in my tree a ghost hawk. Four-to-one, the crows were botherin' him. Four to one. And then, there he was: whoomph (he imitates wings spreading). So dynamic.

***

Is ... Is he doing his field work in Madagascar? I did my field work through Buffalo State College 30 years ago and I never stopped. ... I studied post-traummatic stress. And triangles.

***

My car broke down last week. My tranny went. Then I rolled my canoe. Then, the devil got me, with those triangles.

(photo from Drew's Flickr stream)

Birthday party

We're sitting in the back yard eating hors d'oeuvres, noting that nearly everyone present will have a birthday in the next four months.

Judy (friend's grandmother): I'm August 14. That's V-J Day.

Me: I didn't know that...

Judy: I remember we were upstairs listening to the radio. The president came on and said the war was over. They set fires on Main Street.

Me: On Main Street in Buffalo? Like campfires?

Judy: In Snyder. Bonfires. Wood, tires. The Higgins family set fires.

Me: Umm...Did you say "Higgins?"

Judy: Yes, I remember it was the Higginses.

Me: Did you know I'm a Higgins? That's my name.

Judy: Really??? Joe Higgins. Lois...

Me: No.

Judy: Alright. It was different Higginses then.


(photo from Dominic's Pics on Flickr)

Doctor's office exam room

Doctor: You have some "cobble-stoning." I think it's allergies, not ... (there's a knock at the door). Excuse me. (He cracks open the door, a hand appears with a Post-It note attached. I cant' read what it says). Would you excuse me for a minute? I'm really sorry.

Me: Sure, go ahead.

Doctor (in the hallway, voice muffled through closed door): Uh-huh. Yeah. I think that's what the reading says. No ... no. It's going to say that. I wanted you to know. Yeah. Uh-huh.

(rest of conversation inaudible).

Nurse: Doctor? I wanted you to...

Doctor: Hold on (long pause).

Nurse: I wanted you to know that D____ is coming tomorrow at 11:30. Type II diabetes and there's a change in medication that she wants you to be aware of. I know you're not on til noon, but I wanted you to know she'll be here at 11:30.

Doctor: Yeah.

Nurse: Also, there will be deli sandwiches. (Inaudible) is bringing deli sandwiches.

Doctor: Uh-huh.

Nurse: So I wanted you to know.

(photo from Truthout's Flickr)

Tavern at lunchtime

Jim, publican, to me: If you're arm-pitching, you can't pitch six innings one night and six innings another night. If you're stretch pitching (he adjusts his apron and demonstrates pitching "from the stretch") it's all in the arm. The windup. That's when ... when when when you feel it in the legs. It's all torque. I tell these parents, "Hey, it's your kid, if you say they can pitch then they can pitch." But these kids, they're young. They're not throwing curveballs. I can throw fastballs, I mean, not really fast, actually, but I can pitch moderate, batting-practice fastballs for five hours straight.

First Communion Party, Buffet Line

I'm at a party celebrating the First Comm-
union of four (maybe five?) kids, who are all related to each other, and one is related to me. I know about 10 percent of the 150 people present. We're in a banquet hall where there are other parties going on in other rooms separated by moveable walls -- baby showers and another First Communion, I think. At my party, most of the men are wearing the Casual Golfer uniform (myself included): Khaki pants (the older the man, the more pleats in his pants, like tree rings) and a three-button, short-sleeved shirt (again, gray hair an indicator of whether the shirt will be tucked in).




So, buffet line. I'm last in line, until a guy with thick, salt-and-pepper hair parted in the middle (also, salt-and-pepper mustache) approaches. He's wearing a light brown suit with matching light brown shirt, white pocket square, and white snakeskin boots. He cuts in front of me so casually that I didn't notice until he struck up a conversation with a toddler, being held by his father (baby's father was in uniform, 2 pleats, prob. early 40s). Toddler, blue and white pinstriped something-or-other, with a bib.

Snakeskin Boot Guy: Hey. Heyyyy. Yeah, are you lookin' at me? What are you gonna eat? Maybe some italian sausage? Nah, they probably don't have italian sausage. Maybe the turkey? Yeah?

Toddler: ...

Toddler's Dad: Yeah. He's my moose. The other one's my bird.

Toddler: ...

Snakeskin boot guy: You're not talkin, huh? Only Dad. Only papa. Yep. Hi! Yeah...

Toddler's Dad: Yep. He's tough. He's a moose. He takes food right out of his brother's hand. When the other one has an obstacle, he'll think about how to avoid it or go around it. This one, he'll go right through. A bedroom door. Like if a door is closed and dad is on the other side, this one will go right through. Yeah.

Snakeskin: Tough guy, huh?

Toddler's Dad: Yeah, he's a three-goose-egg at one time kid. He's tough though. He don't cry much.

Another guy in the buffet line (two pleats, late 30s): That's good. That'll be good for him when he's in sports.

Spot Coffee, Buffalo, NY 9:30 a.m Sunday

Two girls in front of me in line. Both around 10 years old. Girl #1 is black, Girl #2 is white.

Girl #1: I have $20 (she flattens a $20 bill and slides it around on the surface of the glass display case, over the chocolate-covered croissants.) Actually, I have $40. And seven credit cards. My father says credit cards (inaudible).

Girl #2: When you have credit cards, you don't need cash. Not right that day.

(enter Girl #3, who, like Girl #2, is white with fine, blond hair and seems like she could be a little sister. She runs up to Girl #1 and touches her shoulder in a way that looked affectionate to me.)


Girl #3: You know what my favorite color is? Black.

(Girl #3 runs away).

Girl #2, whispering, with the back of her hand covering her mouth: That was creepy.

(photo from Alex-S's Flickr)